The trains in New York are horrible. They're jammed like sardine cans. Everybody's screaming into their cellphones. People spit, pick their noses, and even clip their fingernails, which gets really gross when they fly near your lunch.

The good news? Somebody is finally suing about it. The bad news? The plaintiff is a lawyer who, every morning, stakes out five adjacent seats because he has a "bad back."



Things have gone totally haywire under President Bush's watch. Up is down, in is out, good is bad and black is white. Now evidently prices have risen so high that a farmer can make more money growing things than having the government pay him not to.