Thursday, April 10, 2008

In today's New York Times:

Norman Mailer had written his own obituary in 1979, said his son John Buffalo Mailer. The novelist's death supposedly occurred sometime in the future after his 16th wedding and 15th divorce, when he owed millions of dollars in alimony, child support and back taxes. Included were fake quotes from the likes of Andy Warhol and Truman Capote. ("He was so butch!")

Hey, I can make up fake quotes too!

"All of God's children have special gifts. Norman Mailer must have been illegitimate." -- Mother Teresa

"He'd take twelve thousand words to tell somebody he was on fire." -- Joyce Carol Oates

"Hey, I'd live with Eliot Spitzer if he had forty million bucks." -- his wife, Norris Church Mailer

"Whenever he thought the press was ignoring him, he'd stare in a mirror and ask himself, 'What would Hemingway do?'" -- his son, Stephen Mailer

"Who?" -- Paris Hilton

"I'd have shot myself back when I first noticed I was losing my talent but I wasn't old enough to buy a gun." -- Norman Mailer

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