Thursday, September 17, 2015

Highlights of Amazon Movie Reviews

The Girl and the Motorcycle (aka Naked Under Leather) starring Marianne Faithfull and Alain Delon

A fun movie about a crazy girl that takes off on her Harley and rides way too fast on European roads to go find her old boyfriend.
I think this was made during the time when any movie that had the words girl and motorcycle in the title sold.
Most of the time she is on the bike and totally unbelievable because she is looking everywhere except where she is going.
it should be entitled "Girl on a Motorcycle Bolted to a Trailer" or "Girl on a motorcycle in front of a Movie Screen"
Note to Marianne: while grinding down the Autobahn on a motorbike at 95 miles an hour it's okay to flap your thighs and bounce your butt but by all means KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!
She did seem to ride too fast, but that was only a result of her emotional anguish.
The helmet she was wearing wouldn't protect anything.
the Harley she is on sounds very much like a parallel twin rather than a V-twin
Her husband wasn't too bad, except modern orthodontics would have given him perhaps a half an inch more gum
I've not been able to take Delon seriously as an actor since his performance as a character named "Baldy" in Dean Martin's "Texas Across the River" in 1966. Plus I get him confused with Jorge Rivero and his almost identical character "Capt. Pierre Cordona aka Frenchy" in "Rio Lobo". Maybe they are the same person and used two names as a tax dodge.
I am sorry i could only give this movie 4 stars because she is supposed to be totally nude under that leather suit but I observed panty lines
The movie by the way was OK, the ending sucked, she just all of a sudden gets killed.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

I buy Chinese Chicken Salad at Whole Foods and have my Subaru tuned up every 15,000 miles. Why do I have a rash shaped like Ethiopia in my pubic hair?