Tuesday, April 15, 2008

A construction worker's bid to curse the New York Yankees by planting a Boston Red Sox jersey in their new stadium was foiled Sunday when the home team removed the offending shirt from its burial spot. All of New York sighed with relief as construction workers removed the jersey from two feet of concrete in a stadium corridor, assuring the team a great future in their new home.

Team management said they've been in contact with the Bronx district attorney to explore the potential criminality of the act as well as possible legal action against the worker.

Because if there's one big problem afflicting the Bronx today, it's people putting hexes on shit.

A U. S. man has been acquitted of smuggling iguanas from Fiji in his hollowed-out leg. But Jereme James, 34, was found guilty of concealing and possessing Fiji Island banded iguanas and could still face up to 20 years in prison, reports the LA Times.

The defense won over the jury with their slogan, "If there's a lizard in his prosthetic, it must be genetic."

Chelsea Clinton "wowed" the gays at Portland's Red Dress Party, an annual dance where almost 2,000 attendees -- mostly gay men -- don red gowns and disco dance.

Clinton “moved heaven and earth” to make the event, according to a reporter. She quickly became the party’s focus, drawing the attention of even the event’s top-billed musical act, rockers Storm Large and Her Balls. Large dedicated one of her more famous songs, “Ladylike,” to Hillary Clinton.

Meanwhile, there wasn't a Bush to be seen. And if I know the kind of guys who go to these things, I mean this in a couple of ways.

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