Former Miss California Carrie Prejean is suing state pageant officials for libel, slander, and religious discrimination.

While the Miss California organization says Ms. Prejean was fired for missing scheduled appearances and making unauthorized ones, she claims that she was fired for espousing her religious beliefs, which many found offensive.

Actually, her main defense seems to be ignorance. As a professional spokesperson, she thought she was being paid by the word.

Protesting Donald Trump's decision to let a topless model keep the Miss California USA crown, Shanna Moakler resigned her position as the Miss California Pageant Director.

Hopefully uttering the words we've been longing to hear since the moneygrubbing Apprentice first made it hit American TV:

I quit, asshole.


Meanwhile, rumor has it there are some Carrie Prejean photos that are even racier than the ones where the wind supposedly blew her blouse open. Trump himself lended credence to this story by calling a press conference this afternoon and asking, "You know how you can eat a couple burritos and then fart your underwear off?"

Well, I just got a nice note from Carrie Prejean, the disgraced Miss California USA. She realizes she's made some mistakes, but she thinks if the gay community really knew her then they wouldn't be quite as mad. So, as a one-shot deal, I'm turning the website over to her.

Hi guys! My name is Carrie Michelle Prejean and I'd like to be your friend. Why don't I show you some pictures from my photo album so you can learn a little more about me?


Last year I volunteered at the Olympics. I was soooo surprised when they came to my hometown! Here I am trying to give these cute swimmers some moral support. I've got my tiniest suit on but they won't even look at me! Honestly, I think there's something wrong with them.


Here I am with a few members of my church. We're trying to explain to Perez Hilton that we're just following the Word of God, is all. Left to right that's me, Hortensia and Bathsheba. Hortensia never smiles, even though her husband Ezekiel is a nice-looking guy.

I keep trying to convince them to get implants but I can't even get Bathsheba to pluck that unibrow.

By the way, I usually wear a bit more than this to church, but my halter top was at the dry cleaners.


Last but not least, here's my congregation building a house for a poor heterosexual family. I know Jesus wants me in the kitchen with the womenfolk, but I'm not happy unless I'm with the guys.

I'd be working a little harder but my star keeps slipping off.

C'mon, Hosea! Keep on pounding. C'mon, Theophilus! Slap up that drywall. Hey, Ezekiel -- let me grab that little screwdriver you got in your pocket!

Oops. Sorry.

I guess that's why Hortensia never smiles.

Anyway, thanks Roman! This is Carrie Michelle out. Sorry I called you an abomination, but that's Jesus talking, not me.