Monday, April 7, 2008

Dear Ban:

This is a picture of my living room. There's the white wicker chair I bought from Pier One, the plastic lamps that double as cocktail tables, the IKEA bookcase showcasing my collection of miniature motor vehicles fashioned from beer cans by impoverished Hispanics with lots of spare time and tin snips.

Here's my living room again, but in this picture Snowball, my invisible cockapoo, is wearing a tiny, invisible fez and twirling an invisible Hula Hoop around his waist.

This is a picture of my bedroom. There's the wall hanging my sister made out of colorful bits of laundry lint, and the lighthouse my mom painted for me during a long afternoon at My Name is Mud. Next to it are the silk flowers that my sister sent me in sympathy after she saw the lighthouse.

Here's the same room, but in this version Raoul, my invisible boyfriend, is wrestling with an invisible alligator. An invisible marching band cringes in horror while playing Fleetwood Mac's Tusk. On the wall, an enormous invisible plasma TV plays The Invisible Man.

Last, here's a picture of my favorite black t-shirt.

And here's my favorite black t-shirt after I put it on and it got completely coated with Ban Invisible Solid, which offers 24 Hours of Invisible Freshness.

Hope this helps,


Bruce said...

WOW, that invisible Ban solid really works! I'm gonna have to get me some of that.

Yet Another Steve said...

Now now, let's not be too harsh. What they're hawking is actually VIRTUAL invisibility, in the sense that after one horrified glance at the black shirt covered with heaven-knows-what, people hastily avert their eyes and pretend they don't see you. You wondered why people don't run into your "invisible" protection? Now you know. They're just staying a few careful feet away, careful not to overtly notice anything.

RomanHans said...

I'm tempted to call them and ask about it, but I'm pretty sure I know how they'll respond. "It's the freshness that's invisible," they'll say. "The deodorant you can see from space."