1. Blue interior for dad
2. Pink interior for mom
3. Scotchgarded interior for grandpa
4. Details copied from DaVinci's Last Supper
5. Sleep Number mattress
6. Precision pinstriping for dead high-powered executives
7. Pastel-colored Thomas Kinkade "Knockin' on Heaven's Gate" edition
8. Budget coffin for Hispanics
9. Patriotic "Stars and Stripes" edition
10. Cup holder
11. Extended dimensions for oversized corpses
12. Gun rack
13. Tiny speakers playing Toby Keith for all eternity
ANSWERS:1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 9 and 11 are real.
5 comments:
So why does Toby Keith look so disgruntled in the photo? Is he unhappy to be rich and famous? Does he hate to be on stage? Is his underwear riding up? Enquiring minds want to know.
Guys playing the guitar always look like they're passing a kidney stone. Don't know why: I mean, if they were playing a tuba I could understand.
Plus, Toby Keith hates liberals, and owning an expensive camera is on par with listening to NPR or eating sushi.
I thought 8 was a joke. Joke's on me, I guess.
Fixed the link. Evidently they renamed these things from "coffins" to "caskets."
David, the cheapest is the Lady de Guadalupe steel casket. At almost double the price is the Executive Privilege casket, with the "precision pinstriping." It's borderline offensive, but Wal-Mart didn't reach world domination without knowing their audience.
Many years ago a friendly mortician explained to me the difference between "coffin" and "casket," which I had mistakenly assumed to be interchangeable. "A coffin," said he, "is the six-sided box they used in the old days, when graves were dug by hand. It was wide for the shoulders but narrowed at the feet. A casket
only has four sides."
This makes much more sense of old novels in which the Countess opens her "casket of jewels." It's just any box with a lid.
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