So, after a long day yesterday I come home to a whole bunch of phone messages, but one in particular stood out. "Mr. Hans," a solemn voice intoned, "this is Mr. Wanamaker with CitiBank. At your earliest possible convenience could you please call 800-555-7281? Press extension 162784, then select options 9-7-4-9-2 and give the operator reference #7162APR72X0201z. Again, this is Mr. Wanamaker at CitiBank."

I'd just opened my account like a week before, so obviously something had gone horribly wrong. Did my initial deposit bounce? God forbid, had somebody intercepted my new checks in the mail and emptied out my account? Or did they just decide I didn't have enough cash to make it worth their while?

It was late at night, so I waited until this morning, and the second my eyes opened I ran for the phone. Dialed the number. "We are currently experiencing an extremely high call volume," a recording said. Okay, I waited. Punched in the extension. "All of our operators are busy right now." Waited more. Selected the options. "Your call is important to us." Waited some more, but least now I was connected to the right department.

Finally, someone picked up, and I read the reference number to her. "Could you give me your date of birth to verify your identity?" I did. "Mother's maiden name?" Gave it.

Pause.

"We just wanted to thank you for choosing to bank with CitiBank," she said.