I'm not particularly politically active, but once in a while I hear something that really tans my hide. Today the Americans for Truth, a grassroots organization dedicated to fighting the homosexual agenda, provided startling evidence that gays are infiltrating our public schools to recruit new players for their team. One of their members spotted this display at a local high school:


Now, I don't know about you, but I think this is pretty damning evidence that the homos are ruling the roost. I mean, our high schoolers are in those formative years when they haven't yet decided what college to go to, which career path to take, or whether they'd enjoy being orally serviced by clouds that look like shaved testicles. What are we telling them here?

As the parent of a teen myself, I know how kids today desperately want to be "with it" and "hip," and I know that when there's "new wind blowing" they want to be part of it, whether it's learning a groovy new dance step or having anal sex with a dude named Steffon. What hope do their Christian values have in the face of a colorful flag?

Taunted by this blatant propaganda, I can no longer remain silent: damn those homosexual activists and their fancy metaphors, driving our children to unnatural acts with their Sharpy markers and skill with cardboard. I pray that our children remain strong, but even I feel my resolve buckling under the demands of that lumpy cloud. The mailman's walking up my path now, and it's going to take all my gumption to hold my flannel robe closed while I ask him if it's hot enough for him today.