Flushtracker is not #1 or #2 in my list of favorite websites. It was created as part of the educational outreach program for National Toilet Day to shed some light on the underground world of waste.

The concept is simple enough: you type in your address -- currently only UK, Italy and Poland -- and tell them the last time you flushed the toilet. They pull up an aerial view of your neighborhood and, in real time, let you watch as a flashing blue dot shows your detritus weaving its way toward the sea.

But see, I miss the "educational" part of this. Why, exactly, do we need to know what poo does after it leaves the house? Do some folks think theirs is going to drop by the Playboy Mansion and circle a hot tub or two? Do we really need to know the path it takes? Do people watch the thin blue line twist and swerve and say, "Shit, I thought it was gonna make a left"? It's like one little brown Hyundai on a slow-speed chase.

Then there's the box on the left of the screen, like a dashboard for your poo car. How far has it gone? It tells you. How fast is it moving? It tells you. Again, not so educational. Your grandma could beat hers in a race, though frankly I'd watch the Simpsons first.

So, add this website to the list of massive wastes of time. It's like TV commercials for the post office. Like people will see them and go, "Wow, now that I think about it, I should mail more stuff!" Personally, I'm not going to spend the morning with my legs crossed because I know my poo would have to go through New Jersey.

In the end, it was fun for two or three minutes. I discovered that Queen Elizabeth's waste isn't even remotely exciting to watch. Somehow I figured it'd give a little wave.

As for the Pope's, well, it barely covered any distance. In fact, it's almost like it was swept under a rug.