Monday, April 19, 2010

This is unbelievable. I went to a sandwich shop yesterday and saw this tiny notice posted on the wall.

Disclaimer

Due to the high cost of food manufacturing and the strict laws regarding quality, this sandwich shop has replaced its cheese with triangular non-dairy sandwich slices. We're confident that you will enjoy these triangular non-dairy sandwich slices for their bright colors and sharp flavors, as we appreciate their indefinite shelf-life and how they don't need to be kept anywhere cold.

For your convenience, however, we will assume that when you say you want Cheddar on your sandwich, you really mean you want a yellow slice. The same with requests for American cheese. We also assume when you say you want Swiss on your sandwich, you want a white slice. Similarly Provolone. Edam, Gouda, Vermont White Cheddar, Parmesan, Feta and Mozzarella.

This notice therefore serves as legal written notice that we are not required to correct your assumptions about our triangular non-dairy sandwich slices, whether you assume they're imported from another country, aged in a cave or not made entirely of oil. We're certain that you'll find them tasty either alone or paired with our shaved lunch cutlets, pink or brown, which are discussed at length in our brochure.


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