Friday, April 16, 2010

The Catholic Church Molestation Scandal in Ten Lines or Less

THEM: Our priests never molested anybody. This is just one or two bitter gay atheists making crazy accusations so they can get rich quick.

US: Then why do you keep paying them off?

THEM: We're just trying to be nice. Well, maybe there's one or two bad apples in the barrel. When we find the occasional priest who's guilty of molestation, though, we do something about it!

US: Yes. You move them to another church.

THEM: Okay, maybe there's a problem, but it isn't pedophilia. These are evil gay men who somehow infiltrated our ranks.

US: If they were gay men, they'd be sleeping with each other.

THEM: You know, I think you're trying to make a big deal out of nothing. I think this is a vast left-wing conspiracy by atheists aimed at bringing down the Pope. But he didn't know! He didn't have a clue!

US: Oh, look! Here's a signed letter from him telling somebody to ignore a molestation case.

THEM: You people really need to forgive and let go.

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