Last week, Barack Obama gave a speech in which he addressed America's responsibility to the world. "[W]hether we like it or not," he said, "we remain a dominant military superpower, and when conflicts break out, one way or another we get pulled into them."

Naturally, Sarah Palin was tweeting about it within seconds, not even waiting to hear the sentence's end. "'Whether we like it or not we're a superpower'?" she repeated. "What kind of commie doesn't want America to be a superpower? Does he want to tear down all of our skyscrapers and plant banana trees?"

Word quickly circulated in the idiot media, and soon teabaggers were addressing the subject in their signs. "WE LIK BEING A SUPRPOUR," said one sign. "WE DONT WANnA BE LIK KEENYA," another said.

Rather than lower ourselves into this imaginary debate, we'll just explain a grammatical rule to Ms. Palin: You can't slice a clause down the middle and pretend the second half doesn't exist.

Here's an easy example. "Like it or not," Paris Hilton might say, "I'm pretty, and I attract the attention of a lot of men."

It's easy to guess Palin's reaction. "Like it or not she's pretty?" Palin would scream. "What's wrong with being PRETTY? Should we all slice at our faces with KNIVES?"

I'm surprised Palin ignored the next line in Obama's speech. "[Getting pulled into conflicts] ends up costing us significantly in terms of both blood and treasure." "'Treasure'?" she could yell. "Are we paying our hardworking servicepeople with DOUBLOONS?"

Still, I got no problem with Palin. She's the natural end result of a country with no education and no attention span. She soldiers on the only way she can.

Her head is up. Her ass is covered.

And you can slice that any way you want.