Speaking at a forum Monday in Toledo, 3rd District Republican candidate Pat Bertroche said police should catch illegal immigrants and document their whereabouts. The Cedar Rapids Gazette reported that he added, "I can microchip my dog so I can find it. Why can't I microchip an illegal?"

There's a few reasons:

1. You don't own illegal immigrants.
2. They're people, not dogs.
3. Just judging from the picture, dude, they're not going to lick your genitals no matter how much peanut butter you smear on.