Well, the verdict is in, so now it's time for the pundits to compare and contrast.

On Friday, a federal jury ordered Joel Tenenbaum, a Boston University graduate student, to pay $675,000 to four record labels for sharing their songs online.

Under federal law, the recording companies were entitled to as much as $150,000 per track, but jurors ordered Tenenbaum to pay just $22,500 for each incident of copyright infringement.

Meanwhile, for his third DUI arrest in five years, Rip Torn paid a fine of less than $10,000. For his second DUI -- you know, the one where he spontaneously offered his thoughts about Jews -- Mel Gibson paid a fine of $1300.

Our court system has made its priorities clear, and as a responsible blogger it's my duty to help get the message out.

In America, we'd rather have a drunk man hurtling down Pacific Coast Highway than an unlicensed copy of "Don't Stop Believin'" up for grabs on Pirate Bay. Because while the drunk man can certainly cause property damage or bodily injury, at least he won't prompt some prepubescent Korean to sing along with "My Heart Will Go On."

Trees can be replaced. Fenders can be pounded out. Bones heal. But bad karaoke can burn its way into your brain and stay there even after memories of your boyfriend or your parents are gone.

Yes, a drunk man behind the wheel of a car can be deadly. But a white woman with a bootleg copy of "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" can be absolutely disastrous. First she'll start humming along, then singing, and next thing you know she'll be crying and asking strangers why after four dozen dudes have done her she hasn't found Prince Charming yet.

One car can only do so much damage. It plows into things, slows, then stops. The same thing can't be said for a Village People song. It could be downloaded by, say, administrators at an senior center, and while you assumed file-sharing was a totally victimless crime, suddenly your thoughtless behavior has led to 50,000 old people across the globe whose pale, saggy limbs are trying to form the letters YMCA.

Wisely, our courts have realized this, and the lesson is clear. If you're thinking about breaking the law, keep our wise judicial system in mind. Next time you're falling down drunk and tempted to fire up LimeWire and share "She Bangs" with some tweener in Massachusetts, be a thoughtful, responsible citizen and go for a drive instead.