There's somebody squirrelly going on at the Associated Press.

It's been glaringly apparent for years that they've got a right-wing bone to pick. During the presidential election, for example, they sent out a story with this headline:

Analysis: Palin's age, inexperience rival Obama's

Rivals. Yeah, that's how I'd compare the two. One's a moose-shooting hockey mom whose catchphrase is "You betcha." The other's a Harvard grad who edited the school's Law Review.

They're just talking age and inexperience, you say. Oh, okay. Palin was governor of a state with one million residents for less than two years. Obama was senator in a state with thirteen million residents for eight years.

I'm still missing the rivalry here.

Then yesterday they published a story saying the governor of Utah thinks it should be all right to evict or fire people who are gay. Their headline?

Utah Governor: No Special Rights for Gay People

Special. Gay people want something special.

Here are the facts. In America you can't be fired based on race, religion, gender, national origin, age, or disability. In many states, though, including Utah, you can be fired for being gay.

White man can't be fired for being white. Christian man can't be fired for believing in God. Gay man can be fired for having same-sex partner.

Gay man wants "special" rights.

Evidently somebody other than me complained, because today the headline is different.

Utah Governor: No Protected Class for Gay People

Oh, okay. Much better. Now they're saying the governor is against putting us in a SPECIAL CLASS.

It doesn't take a genius to come up with several thousand more concise headlines:

Utah Governor Believes It's Okay to Discriminate Against Gays

Utah Governor Against Equality for Gays

Okay to Fire Homosexuals, Utah Governor Says

But no, somehow the headlines always always sound like gay people want something that nobody else has.

Something special.

The right-wing picks up this football and runs. Gays think they're special! Gays want extra rights! "If we can't show up for work in assless chaps we're calling the ACLU!"

I don't get how allegedly college-educated journalists don't see this: I mean, even the New York Times let this headline through.

If your boss told everybody to wear suits to work, but he made you wear a tank top and a tutu, you wouldn't be demanding "special" rights if you complained.

If police tested men for drunk driving by having them walk a straight line, but women had to hop the length of it while wearing tassels on their boobs, they wouldn't be demanding "special" rights if they complained.

It's not a difficult distinction.

Apparently, though, the Associated Press confuses "special" with "equal." On the minus side, their idiocy gets disseminated all over the world as fact.

On the plus side, I'll bet they get a hug and a "Job well done!" next time the Special Olympics roll around.