Thank God for that. For once I won't have to worry about a dress code.

When you hear about people complaining to the police about gay men indulging in lewd behavior, how do you picture these people? Old? Religious? Heterosexual? Apparently that last assumption, if not all three, is completely wrong.

Even among San Francisco fetish fetes, the Up Your Alley street fair stands alone. The raunchier and more gay-centric cousin of the Folsom Street Fair is a huge event on the leather community calendar, with public floggings, pee and pony play, fellatio, and intercourse all part of the package. It's a "voyeur's paradise," observes Supervisor (and mayoral hopeful) Bevan Dufty, a regular attendee (but not participant, we should note).

But Up Your Alley is being forced to clean up its act after several people complained to police about public indecency laws being violated at last year's event.

Among those complaining is Mike Hughes, a gay man who thinks public sex reflects badly on the gay community. "Public nudity is fine," he says, "but golden showers in the goddamned street?"

Call me crazy, but I couldn't agree more. I too am a fine, upstanding gay man, and I know how much easier it is to run to the police than to look away. Every square inch of public space in America needs to be G-rated every minute of every day. Every theater, every bar, every out-of-the-way alley needs to be family-friendly, just in case some kid with binoculars is peering out of a helicopter overhead.

So, Mike, my hat's off. (Don't worry, the rest of me is hidden and soft.) It's about time this "fetish fair" met community standards of decency, just in case some clueless member of the community wandered past all the police-style barricades and the giant neon-orange signs warning of GAY MEN and SEXUAL BEHAVIOR. And now, I'm happy to say, I know exactly where to go when I'm looking for other men into priss.