It's official! Ex-Miss California Carrie Prejean has inked a deal to publish her memoirs. In a deal with a rumored four-figure price tag, Regency Publishing announced they'll release the controversial gal's tome -- tentatively titled Still Standing -- just four short months from now.

We here at World Class Stupid have connections with powerful insiders, though, so we don't have to keep our readers waiting quite that long. In a worldwide blog exclusive, here's a sneak peek at the book's opening paragraphs.


Still Standing
by Carrie Prejean
Well, back in 1989, there were two people of mixed sexes who were really in love, and you know what, one of them turned out to be my dad. My dad was a male, a fact that is still true to this day, because that's just the way he is, and he's not going to let any communists or Democrats sway him from this decision that God has made for him. The other person which I was speaking about was my mother. She was a female, and she too is still a female. That's the one thing I really look up to in both my parents -- their dedication, and their consistency. I do believe that I admire my mother most of all, though, because she touches everyone she knows, including foreigners and me in particular, and not just to see if we've been gaining weight.

So one day these two people thought well, you know what? Why don't we have a child? Both of them knew that in this great country a woman carries a baby for nine months, in fact all women carry babies for nine months, unless the babies are born prematurely which means they're small and red when they pop out and they look like dolls, or Chinese. But I live inside my mother for nine months and then I pop out and my mom home-schools me and seriously like the third time I leave the house that fat gay Perez Hilton asks me the most jackassinine question I've ever heard in my life.