Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Travelocity: Just Slightly More Useless Than Men's Nipples

Welcome to Travelocity.com. Where and when would you like to travel?

Roundtrip, New York to Paris, any time November or December.

No problem! We have lots of fares. Here's a flight on Air India for $500.

Air India? Christ. Well, if I have to, fine.

Oops. That flight is no longer available. How about another Air India flight for $552?

Sure.

Damn. That flight isn't available either. How about another Air India flight for $559?

Okay.

Hey, here's a calendar for January, February and March of next year. The fare is available any day! Pick the day you want!

Great. January 3, 2009 would be great.

Sorry, that date is not available. And we checked four days around that date and they're not available either. Please choose another date.

Uh, how about January 8?

Sorry, that date is not available. We checked four days around that date and they're not available either. Please choose another date.

January 13? January 17? January 21? January 24? January 28? February 2? February 6? February 12? February 19? February 23? February 27? March 2? March 6? March 11? March 17? March 21? March 26? March 30?

You know what? We're idiots. You asked for a cheap flight in November or December, and here we pulled a calendar for 2009. And then it turns out the price you wanted isn't available any day at all! Gosh. We're sorry! Hope we didn't entirely waste your last hour. Wait -- no, I guess we did. Well, tune in to the Amazing Race and you can look at foreign countries. Come back next time you don't want to go anywhere!

1 comment:

David said...

My nipples aren't all that useless.

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