I'm not sure what my brain is trying to tell me, but it seems to be in the neighborhood of "Find a good psychiatrist."

I had two weird dreams last night. In the first, I was a member of a men's choir, and we were singing live on the radio. We were standing on bleachers, in formation, and the choir director ran between the rows holding the microphone. He'd stop in front of the next singer and whisper his part to him.

He ran to the first guy. "Fa la la," he whispered in his ear. "Fa la la!" the guy sang.

He ran to the second guy. "Tra la la!" he whispered. "Tra la la!" the guy sang.

He ran over to me. "Squip-bap-diddly doo; oh wanka wabba bop larba langa shoo-wop," he said.

In the second dream, I worked in a nice office, with a big desk in front of a huge picture window and a beautiful view, and really, really had to go to the bathroom. Somebody had told me I could just go on top of my desk -- like it had a really good drainage system -- so I started to. And the very second I did, the door flung open and about fifty people ran in. "There's a glacier moving around outside!" one of the secretaries yelled, totally oblivious to my actions, and everyone scurried over to my window to watch.

I tried to stop going but couldn't, and by now the desktop was a veritable lake. I nearly spoke up when a couple of my visitors casually plopped themselves atop it but didn't want to draw attention to myself.

Needless to say, when I woke up I had to go to the bathroom. I checked outside for glaciers first.