I know this'll be a little controversial, but every day I'm just a little more proud of this great country we live in. Sure, maybe the Swedes got equal rights for everybody, the Chinese own most of our land, the French guzzle assertive little Merlots while sitting at their desks, but the U. S. of A. leads them all because of a little thing called Free Enterprise.

For example, take a look at this robot created by a Japanese company. It looks like something out of Robocop, kind of like a person and kind of like a robot. It walks and talks and all that shit. Americans look at it and think, "Christ, what a lot of work! No wonder the Japs are always killing themselves."


We Americans, on the other hand, don't work harder: we work smarter. When Anybots of California decided to build a "telepresence robot" they pared down the requirements to the shortest possible list. Like the Japanese, they wanted a robot capable of movement and speech. But then they asked the tough questions. "Do we really want a robot to look robotic?" they wondered. "Does it really need arms and all that shit?" They pared down the essentials to the shortest possible list and got the job done quick.


Brilliant, huh? Try looking at that thing and not seeing the good ole' Stars and Stripes. I mean, c'mon: your grandma would poop her drawers if she saw that Japanese thing coming at her, but even the wussiest kid on the block wouldn't blanche at this potty chair on a stick. That's good design. Good work, dudes! Now go hang ten, you hodads: your work here is done.