Monday, October 27, 2008

A wild rumble erupted in Times Square early Saturday morning outside a theater debuting the latest installation of a movie franchise that critics have variously called sadistic, morally depraved, and a Biblical sign of the end times.

Swarms of teens started fighting as they tried to exit and enter sold-out theaters, and eventually the violence spread out onto the streets.

Police finally got the kids under control by getting them all to agree that Zac was absolutely, positively the hottest guy ever to be shown onscreen.

Sarah Palin is continuing to work damage control over the story that Republican operatives spent one-seventh of a million dollars on clothes for her to wear for the last two weeks of the Presidential campaign. During a rally in Kissimmee, Florida she insisted that she's frugal, down-to-earth, and just like every other upper-middle-class woman in America.

So, she's just going to wear the clothes once and then return them.

Ed Asner has been writing his autobiography. He says he'll discuss his rise from son of a scrap metal dealer to president of the Screen Actors Guild, and his work as an activist for social justice who frequently battled with the late arch-conservative Charlton Heston.

The book is controversial, to say the least. Aside from vicious attacks on Heston and no-holds-barred discussions of the women he's slept with, Asner claims he's always, always been able to turn the world on with his smile.

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