Tuesday News Round-Up

A Swedish clergyman has quit after picking up a virus from a hardcore porn website - and crippling the entire church computer network.

Father Gunnar Svensson, from Strangnas, was exposed when technicians trying to fix the breakdown discovered he had choked his hard drive with thousands of visits to extreme pornography sites.

When church authorities suggested the clergyman should be immediately defrocked he moaned, "Oh, yes, YES!!!"



A man tried to steal several bags of frozen shrimp from a supermarket by stuffing them into his pants. An off-duty detective was shopping at a Sweetbay supermarket Sunday when he noticed the man hiding the frozen seafood and intervened.

The detective approached the 32-year-old man and pointed at the peculiar bulge.

DETECTIVE: Shrimp?

SUSPECT: Oh, like you're John Holmes.



A goldfish named Princess was sent a voter registration form in Illinois last week.

Beth Nudelman, who owns the fish, says she's never registered Princess to vote, but that Princess might have gotten on a mailing list because the family once filled in the pet's name when they got a second phone line for their computer.

Ms. Nudelman speculate that Princess would have voted for McCain because she's old, it's wrinkly, and she lives in a giant fishbowl that somebody else bought.