Three LEGO figurines were blasted into space today, traveling to Jupiter in the space probe Juno. The small dolls represent the Italian astronomer Galileo, the Roman god Jupiter, and the Roman goddess Juno.

Juno is expected to arrive on Jupiter in July of 2016, where the solar-powered probe will collect information about the planet, its moons, and atmosphere over the course of one year.

I totally do not get this. In the past, our spacecrafts always included scientific data about human beings, just in case they were intercepted by aliens. The Pioneer spacecraft, for example, had a plaque with silhouettes of male and female forms, along with a drawing of the Milky Way galaxy and exactly where earth is located in it.



See? Informative, right? Now get a load of these things:


Really, NASA? You want LEGO to show foreign beings what we look like? I could make a sculpture closer to the human form using six rocks and some Pepsodent. They've got no noses. They have square legs. They have no sex organs. I wouldn't send Lego figures if it was a choice between these and Bratz. You really want aliens to generalize about humans from these things?

BISPLIXT THE ELDER: As for the creatures that live on earth, class, well, the male recognizes the female by her smile and her Farrah Fawcett hair. (PAUSE) Yes, obviously they're shapeless, but on the other hand they wouldn't slide off an enormous chess board!

Sigh; well, Juno already took off, so I guess we're stuck. In the future, though, even sending an inflatable sex doll would be better. They're lightweight, they're closer to the human form, and they'll show aliens we're not exactly doomed to jerking off.