Which is why, with regular usage, you'll be startled to notice absolutely zero difference in your skin.
Neutrogena Oil Free Acne Wash contains a total of eighty-two zit-fighting formulas. It has sixteen years of cutting-edge technology behind it, and is backed by the renowned Neutrogena brand. Our scientists have literally hundreds of years experience in skin care, and were awarded degrees by literally every respected university.
In fact, we dare you to take our test. Wash one side of your face with our Oil Free Acne Wash and the other with your regular soap. We promise that in two weeks you'll look at yourself in the mirror and ask, "These scientists have degrees in what?"
Slather this groundbreaking formula on your face every morning and evening. Feel it tingle, and watch it foam. Wash it away with the confidence that is the Neutrogena brand. And when you run into that long-lost friend, be assured she's going to look at you and say, "I don't mean to pry, but do you wash your face at all?"
Now, maybe you'll shake your head and think you've wasted $6.49. Maybe you'll flash-back on all those news reports where consumer reporters said you might as well slather guacamole on your face for all the good most zit creams do. Maybe you'll be tempted to leave this stuff on twenty-four hours a day, just to see if it will do anything at all. Oh, it will: the tested synergy of skin-tingling chemicals mean your zits will be both red and dry. Despite the questionable effectiveness of this product, though, we guarantee you'll be glad you bought it, and maybe you'll even recommend it to your friends. Because it may not clear up your complexion, but it'll probably convince you that all the really smart scientists are working on stuff that's a whole lot more important than your goddamn skin.
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