My current boyfriend, Raoul, is addicted to So You Think You Can Dance, which means I'm doomed to fourteen hours of fartsy gymnastics every week. Just for my own mental health, I invented a drinking game that really helps those turgid dance routines electric-slide by. If you're doomed to a similar fate, here are the rules I made up.

• Take a shot whenever somebody dances to a third-rate cover tune by an American Idol loser.
  
  
• Chug a beer whenever an edgy, pierced choreographer with a partly shaved head writes a piece where a boy meets a girl at a park bench.
  
  
• Chug a beer whenever Nigel Lythgoe congratulates the show for revolutionizing dance in America, then makes two teenagers foxtrot.
  
  
• Take a shot whenever a girl does something that'd get a fiver stuffed into her bra at Flashdancers.
  
  
• Chug a beer whenever a judge extols the sacred beauty of dance, and then the next dance features a move called "Look at my crotch! LOOK!"
  
  
• Take a shot every time the eternally-chipper Cat Deeley says to a contestant, "Come here, you!"
  
  
• Chug a beer every time a judge tells a dancer "The ladies here sure love you" and the dude is queerer than Elton John's purple codpiece.

Of course, you can customize this any way you'd like. I used to take a shot whenever a white chick whipped her hair like a pole dancer, but then I'd routinely pass out during the opening credits.