Today's Cookiepuss News

So Carvel Ice Cream gave Lindsay Lohan a card that entitled her to free ice cream for life. Which at a place like Carvel can add up to, like, hundreds of dollars worth of crap. Since Lindsay doesn't actually like food, though, she gave the card to her mom Dina, who wore the numbers off the plastic getting an ice cream cake every fifteen minutes. Finally, a Carvel clerk snapped, and confiscated the card.

Dina was shocked. That couldn't be legal, could it? She phoned the police, and the officer who responded ordered the Carvel employee to return the card.

Then he charged her with Assault and Buttery.

I don't get anything about this story, starting with the fact that this ice cream store's business model includes buying one freakin' ice cream mold and using it to make Fudgie the Whale in one direction and Hootie the Owl when it's upside down. Because, you know, $14 doesn't grow on trees. Plus, you'd think they'd be happy to get a customer in the joint who gets excited about a Cookiepuss.

Anyway, here's a picture of a protester at a BP hearing, because it's pretty much how I'm imagining this thing played out.