Humpday. Shitty Movie, Full Spoilers.

Idiot Free Spirit claims he's an artist, but he's never finished a project. His first, he decides, will be a film called "Two Straight Guys Have Gay Butt Sex."

Because, you know, without the word "Butt" it would be just another night at Scout Camp.

His friend, Idiot Married Dude, quickly signs on. He's semi-curious about gay sex, and he believes that marriage doesn't have to strangle a man's growth.

Yeah! You expect to see unicorn pictures and The Chronicles of Narnia on his nightstand.

Just so folks in Iowa aren't pissed off about Idiot Married Dude looking stupider than Idiot Free Spirit, Idiot Writer/Director Lynn Shelton inserts a telling scene. Idiot Free Spirit goes to bed with two lesbians, then freaks out when they bring out rubber dicks. "Why don't we use my equipment?" he asks. "Because we always use these," one replies.

Prompting everyone in the audience to scream, "THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BRING THE GUY TO BED? Is he just there to provide running commentary, or fetch snacks?" It's insulting. Everybody knows when you have guests over for dinner, you don't whip out the same old Tupperware.

Of course, the scene exists solely so Idiot Free Spirit can storm off petulantly, thus proving he's just as screwed up as Idiot Married Dude and reassuring Sid and Randii Cornhusker in Bag O'Pretzels, Wyoming that only morons try to be sexually adventurous.

And it's at this point you realize this film couldn't be any stupider if the two Idiots whipped out Bibles and started reading aloud.

Eventually the two Idiots end up in a hotel room to make their film. In their hetero panic, though, they can't even strip down past boxer shorts, and after hugging once they just stand there and nervously slap their own body parts. You know, like hetero guys do. You can almost hear Lynn Shelton aching to make somebody say, "Hey, how about those Mets?"

And then the two semi-naked heterosexuals who decided to have sex lay in bed at arm's length and discuss how stupid it would be for two heterosexuals to get naked and have sex. Then they put on their clothes and go home.

Who needs to explore? Everything's just swell within those little picket fences! Gosh, how silly they were.

Humpday is just exactly as stupid as it sounds. It's insulting fake crap aimed at a Red State audience masquerading as indie fun, and it'll make you long for the emotional honesty of a Robin Williams film.

Lynn Shelton's next film? Climbday: two guys plan to conquer Everest, then at the base of the mountain call off their expedition because one of their Sherpas ate the granola bar.