Looney Tunes

According to Fabian Escalante, Fidel Castro's bodyguard, the CIA made a total of 638 attempts on Castro's life, and every single one failed miserably. Sound familiar? It reminds me of another mythic rivalry that went on for quite a few years. In fact, I'll bet you can't tell which of the following were ways the CIA tried to kill or disable Castro, and which Wile E. Coyote used to get the Road Runner.

1. Tried to stab him with a ballpoint pen filled with poison.

2. Sent him a spring-loaded boxing glove in the mail.

3. Tried to squash him with a jet-propelled pogo stick.

4. Dusted his shoes with hair removal powder.

5. Tried to make him walk into a square of quick-drying cement.

6. Gave him a diving suit coated with deadly bacteria.

7. Painted a tunnel on a rock and hoped he'd run into it.

8. Laced his food with iron filings so he'd be pulled toward a giant magnet.

9. Tried to hit him with a remote controlled plane packed with explosives.

10. Tried to crush him with an enormous boulder shot from a catapult.

11. Volleyed explosive tennis balls at him.

12. Chased after him with a jar full of angry bees.

13. Put an explosive seashell where he was about to go skindiving.

14. Left bird seed under a giant hammer.



Answers: 1, 4, 6, 9, and 13 are ways the CIA tried to get Castro. 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, and 14 are Wile E. Coyote tricks.