Friday's News Roundup

Minnie Driver complained to an interviewer about blog culture invading the privacy of celebrities. "I was just in the clothes shop," she said, "and this girl was just standing there filming me with her phone. I so wanted to be like 'what are you doing you silly woman? Haven't you got anything better to do than watch me, like, flick through T-shirts?'

I don't believe this story for a second. Nobody's that weird. The girl was probably hoping Minnie would change clothes.


A gym in the Netherlands has declared Sundays to be clothing-optional workout days. The owner says the stunt has proved a huge boon for business, drawing kudos from the area's grateful nudists.

Is it just me, or can every Dutch news story be turned into a joke by adding, "And then a boy stuck his finger in a dike"?


Overweight police officers in Aguascalientes, Mexico are being offered cash bonuses to slim down. One politician behind the plan told reporters that some obese officers stopped chasing criminals after running just fifteen feet.

Oh, like this is smart. What do you call Mexicans who are good at running? Californians.


Last Sunday the pastor at a Florida church told his married members to have sex with their partners every day for 30 days.

Next Sunday's sermon: God speaks to the faithful through a burning bush.


RIGA, Latvia -- A British man was arrested and sentenced to five days in jail for urinating on Latvia's Freedom Monument.

I saw film footage of this on the news, and I don't see why they made such a fuss about it. Honestly, it's just a squat, unimpressive little pole.

And the monument's no Taj Mahal either.