Wednesday, April 13, 2011

We've all heard about it: Southwest Airlines seems to have trouble keeping the tops on their planes. In fact, it's more likely you'll freefall from 30,000 feet than find tasty food at Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport. The good news is, it's not such a bad way to go. Due to the extreme cold at such a high altitude, your blood will immediately start to coagulate, and it won't provide the nourishment your brain needs. You will literally get stupider with every inch you fall. We've consulted Dr. Waylon Dowd, a world-renowned scholar, and had him write up typical thoughts that might fly through your nutrient-starved mind as you plummet to earth.

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