If you spend any time on the internet, you know how to read between the lines. Sometimes people think they're saying one thing when in reality they're saying another. Over at CafeMom, for instance, they think they're listing
50 Reasons Stay-At-Home Moms Have Better Sex, but if you reword and rearrange the list just slightly you'll see a better title would be
Why I Don't Have Any SAHMs On My Speed Dial.
When you're a SAHM, you don't shower very often,17 and you infrequently brush your hair.18 You're hornier than working women because you spend part of the day sitting in the park sending pornographic texts.7 You get to send them from home, too, because if you get caught a baby can't fire your ass.19
Fact is, you're always rarin' to screw because you got so relaxed in your sweatpants and ugly shoes.22 You haven't been able to see your husband all day, so you miss him. [Ed. note: Evidently employed people all work in the same building.]28 You can't wait for him to come home and fuck you because you got all hot watching those kiddy TV shows.32
Sex is extra special after you've spent the day cleaning up child and animal poop,29 plus sometimes it's just cool to see somebody with pubic hair.16 By the time hubby comes home, you can't wait to fuck, because at least it gives you a chance to lie down.31
You're better in bed than employed women because they use up all their filthy talk at work.38 And you're already warmed up for spanking.37 Hell, you've been puked on and shat on so much it's impossible to scare you in the sack.50 Plus, men really enjoy fucking you because you're helpless,13 and you'll make sure they don't hurt themselves.40
Besides, it's not like all that drinking is gonna hurt.20
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