The last man in America who liked white women has decided he likes Asians too.

Matt Hoxton, a 35-year-old computer technician, finally agrees that everybody else is right and he was wrong. Asian chicks are just way hotter than regular chicks.

"I was always defending white chicks to all my friends," Matt explained. "Like, some of them are feminine, and a few of them aren't loud. A couple weeks ago, though, my brother-in-law set me up on a blind date, and I realized they were right. Asian chicks just have a certain something about them that's really cool. They're smarter, and more stylish, and just cooler all around. You know, it's almost like Asian chicks are Macintoshes, and white chicks are PCs."

"That's RIDICULOUS!" screamed a white women who'd been eavesdropping, demonstrating that assertiveness that's turned everybody off. "That's ridiculous, and that's offensive!" Steaming, she jumped into her car and drove to Rite Aid to look for antivirus medication, but she crashed a couple times along the way.