Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Jay Leno and George W. Bush have a lot in common. They're plain white heterosexuals who appeal to middle America, and they both benefit from the nonexistent expectations set by blue-state reviews.

When George W. ran for president, he skated by entirely on charm. We knew he was no great intellect. We knew he coasted through school. Before the debates, then, expectations were zero. Would he be able to finish a sentence? How many words would he mispronounce? He came off at a second-grade level and out of sheer surprise was applauded like a Nobel laureate.

Similarly, when Jay Leno took over the Tonight Show from Johnny Carson, everybody predicted the worst. Adios intelligence; it's rubber chicken time! Mr. Leno handily beat the low bar and hit number one in his time slot.

Our review of last night's show, then, is partly Leno's own fault. This time he built up expectations. The Jay Leno Show would be better than the Tonight Show, and would even save NBC! He took three months off, and we tune in and think, "Huh? Is this it? It's like the jacket you buy in a dimly-lit store, then wear outside to discover it's an ugly color and badly made. The jokes that slid by in a pre-sleep stupor suffered in the glare of prime time. A tasteless serious question -- asking Kanye West how his dead mom would view his VMA behavior -- made us cringe. In one inspired bit about his personal life, a reference to a gay bar called the Sphincter hit a Howie Do It low. Kevin Eubanks continued to highlight the frat boy emphasis, speaking up only to agree that fat women shouldn't wear thongs.

Behind his desk, Leno was in his element. He seemed to want to reach across the distance and connect with his guests. Now that he's in a chair right next to them, though, we realize the man can't connect. He's no Ellen. He's no Oprah. The only direction he wants to move is back.

We finally get his automotive obsession. We're expecting a talk show host, but what we get is a man who really just wants to work on his cars.

One day soon, he's going to get his wish.

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