I know we've all got pretty much the same bucket list. Live in a garret in France, raft down the Colorado River, make an apple doll of a young Mick Jagger and see if it ages like him. I can't help you with the first two, but I've finally found the time to pursue the last. I hired a local artisan -- thanks, Etsy! -- to carve a Granny Smith into the likeness of a young Mick Jagger, and slapped a Hype Hair curly ponytail weave on top. Pretty good likeness, no? I mean, put on a Rolling Stones record and stab somebody and we could be watching Altamont.

And now, our journey begins. Now we watch, day by day, as time takes its toll and sucks the natural juices out of our little friend. Will it shrivel and brown in a startling simulation of the real thing? Will bugs carry it out of my filthy Brooklyn apartment? Will I ever get around to giving it a body and sewing it a little spandex costume, then film it cavorting around to "Jumping Jack Flash," or will I accidentally knock it over and make apple sauce?

Only time will tell.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you -- the Mick Jagger Apple Doll, Day One.