So, last week the unconventional or "fringe" religious community was in an uproar over the latest holy figure sighting: Jesus and Mary in a Lava Lamp. We'd seen the pair in toast, on tortillas, and in omelets, but this was a first. The media dutifully reported the story, calling it a "miracle" and an "amazement" and a "UL-listed blessing."


Then this week, a chicken in southern Croatia laid this egg:


And what's the unconventional religious community's reaction? It's "weird. It's "odd-shaped." It "looks like a potato."

I'm like, HUH? Folks, take a look at this thing. If I'd recognize my own face, I'd recognize MARY. Tiny head, swan-like neck, big nurturing body. That's the exact same figure from the Lava Lamp! So she put down the baby Jesus for a second. She's like, "Look, I don't always haul the kid around with me! I'm a person too!"

And how does the world react?

They say, no, you're not. You're just an egg that made some Croatian chicken squawk like its ass was going to explode.

So -- sorry, Mary. Better luck next time. Some of us received your divine message, but to everybody else apparently you're the Andrew Ridgely in this Wham! UK.