Needless to say, the article is straight out of the Tiger Beat school of journalism. Pastor Mark is "unconventional," as if he's more Russell Brand than Anita Bryant in Diesel jeans. His retro views are "cool," he looks "hip." They repeatedly mention "indie rock," and even the URL contains the word "punk."
Odd, considering his beliefs. I mean, I don't think the members of Pavement ever told their girlfriends that God wants them to submit to men. I'm pretty sure the Sex Pistols didn't think stillborn babies spent eternity burning like shiskabobs in hell.
He's described as "hypermasculine." Yeah, in his "fashionably distressed jeans," with baby face, hands tentatively in pockets, and Madonna microphone across his mouth. He looks like an audience member at Austin City Limits who's going to text his friends when Hootie & the Blowfish take the stage.
That last flattery seems to be prompted by Pastor Mark's irritation with the modern portrayal of Jesus "as a wuss who took a beating and spent a lot of time putting product in his long hair.” Jesus has been transformed into "a Richard Simmons, hippie, queer Christ," a "neutered and limp-wristed popular Sky Fairy of pop culture that . . . would never talk about sin or send anyone to hell."
The words slide by without a comment from the starry-eyed writer. It's clear from his words that Pastor Mark is an idiot. But it would have been nice if, presented clearly with the evidence, the writer had dropped her flirtation for a minute or two and called him a homophobic, misogynistic asshole too.
The second stupidest article in the Times today surely has to be this piece in which a doctor complains that a lot of kids today have no manners.
You know what? I don't care if they swear, flip me off, or kick me in the shins with their little plaid Keds. They're not even in the same league as dudes who charge me $200 and keep me waiting an hour to jam a finger up my ass.
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