Want to dump that billionaire boyfriend now that the financial downturn has turned him depressing? Dating a Banker Anonymous is the support group for you.

Dawn Spinner Davis, 26, a beauty writer, said the downward-trending graphs began to make sense when the man she married on Nov. 1, a 28-year-old private wealth manager, stopped playing golf, once his passion. “One of his best friends told me that my job is now to keep him calm and keep him from dying at the age of 35,” Ms. Davis said. “It’s not what I signed up for.”

She's mad now that he can't afford bottle service, and he's on edge since he had to cut the masseuse to part-time. I'm thinking this should be added to the wedding vow as an exception to all that "death do us part" shit.