The heteros had moved in, and everything good had been paved over. Now, apparently, there's one last vestige of freedom left -- it's legal to walk around nude -- and according to an article in the SF Weekly the residents want to squash that too.
"What about the children?" they scream, like seeing a full-sized penis would make their tiny heads explode.
I don't get this. San Francisco means freedom, right? It's like moving next door to Mario Batali and then freaking out when you smell cheese. They get the cops to harass the naked dudes, but since it's not illegal there's nothing they can do.
Really, how hard is it not to look at these people? If my brain can identify and ignore anything wearing Uggs, I'm pretty sure it can skip past six feet of wrinkled orange flesh.
One boy broke into tears after seeing a man's Prince Albert piercing. "He wanted to know why [the man's] peepee was broken," a cop said.
Kid, it's not broken. It's called a "piercing." Dude caught it from your mommy's ears.
A 7-year-old girl called the city's service line to report a nude man. "I don't know why they're doing it — shock value or what?" she asked a reporter. "The Castro's a place that's supposed to be for everybody, and if you're excluding the kids, that's not being accepting of everyone."
Uh, girl, who's excluding the kids? Feel free to slip out of those Garanimals if you want (though I'd prefer it if you'd stay clothed until you've got Tom Selleck's chest). Note to her parents: yeah, that "Palin 2012" t-shirt will be the perfect Xmas gift.
Anyway, I just wanted to (1) complain about the cliché that there's an inverse correlation between public nudity and attractiveness (it's about freedom, and if only attractive people can be free then the Tea Party will have won) and (2) piss off the whiners by offering an alternative headline to this article.
San Franciscans Complain That Children Can't Handle Large Penises
Yeah, that's why I'm anonymous.
3 comments:
Jeez, that's depressing -- that even San Francisco can fall into this faux "Think of the children!" crap that gets dragged out anytime adults want to change the behavior of others. Frankly, I think children are far less harmed by the sight of a naked body than they are by the pervasive hypocrisy that's demonstrated in the news every day.
It's sad. I've worked in SF since 1999 and it feels like it's gotten more conservative. If parents can't figure out how to explain two naked dudes on the sidewalk, that's their problem to deal with.
"I want to take my children to Harry Potter World but I don't want them exposed to all that witchcraft and stuff. Can't someone DO something about this?"
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