"Conservationists write me these nasty letters because I support an industry like this," Sarah Palin said after taking a chainsaw to an Evergreen Timber tree. "They write me these nasty letters using their pretty little pencils on their pretty little stationery not realizing. Where do you think your pencil and your piece of paper came from, people? It came from a tree that was harvested."

Dear Sarah:

Lady, the last time a liberal wrote with a pencil and paper they were begging James Van Der Beek to marry them.

Hope this helps,
RomanHans