I ordered something through Amazon on August 30. It wasn't actually an Amazon item: the fine print said, "Sold by Alive & Aware and Fulfilled by Amazon." I clicked on the link for Alive & Aware, saw their feedback rating was 98%, and ordered.

16 days later, I still haven't gotten it.

I emailed Alive & Aware and they claimed total ignorance. They had nothing to do with this order, they said. Whenever an item has that "Fulfilled by Amazon" line, it means the item is stored in Amazon's warehouse, and Amazon ships it out.

So, not A&A's problem. Where's my package? Got no way of knowing. Got no clue. I didn't exactly hold out great things for them, though, aside from the fact I had to define the word "pertinent" for them. "You have made it very clear that you are unhappy with this order, but it was never really clear what you wanted us to do," the rep wrote. "What is it that you would have us do?"

For starters, I want to reply, I'd love to hear you play the bagpipes!

Looking closer at their 98% feedback rating, though, I discovered something strange. Though Amazon is responsible for the order, all the customer ratings -- between 1 and 5 stars -- go to Alive & Aware. And then the negative ratings are excluded from the feedback score. Appended is the comment, "This item was fulfilled by Amazon, and we take responsibility for this fulfillment experience."

So, if you're happy with the service, the subcontractor gets positive feedback. If you're not, Amazon says it was their fault and deletes it.

Presto! All of Amazon's subcontractors have ratings above 98%.

Personally, I think this is fraud. If you don't delete the negative feedback, A&A's score drops substantially. Maybe 1 in 10 customers are pissed off, including me. Still, I've got to give Amazon some grudging admiration. "All our subcontractors are terrific companies," they're crowing. "If you ignore all the negative feedback, everybody just has nice things to say."