After months of he-said-she-said, psychotic phone calls and charges of extortion, here's what the Mel Gibson scandal boils down to:

We are never going to see the curious bit of fluff that is Jodie Foster's "Beaver."


You know, I was kind of looking forward to seeing it, if only to answer this question: What would prompt a respectable member of society to run around with a brainless puppet? I guess anything's better than living in a dam.