Thursday, February 4, 2010

James O'Keefe is an asshole, let's make that clear from Word One. He's an overprivileged white "conservative activist" who's trying to shut down what little help there is available to the poor. He lies through his teeth to show the system can be abused, somehow extrapolating that into claims it should be abolished.

His misanthropy is obvious from his very first "prank." "Pro-life activist" Lila Rose pretended she was pregnant, and O'Keefe played her boyfriend. They went to Planned Parenthood and asked about abortions, pretending not to know it was too late to be legally done.

Yes, you got it: they actually pretended Ms. Rose was a desperate teenager for the sole purpose of shutting down an operation that helps desperate teenagers.

What does Mr. O'Keefe apparently think the Planned Parenthood caseworker should have said? "Oh. Too bad. Sorry. Missed the window. Enjoy your kid!" But no. The worker said something like, "If you gave me a different conception date, we could probably get you that abortion."

Which, of course, is horrifying! Is against the law! Planned Parenthood should be SHUT DOWN!

And, in fact, they nearly were. That simple exchange, those two liars with a hidden camera, led to lawmakers in a state halfway across the country trying to end a $721,000 contract with Planned Parenthood, and the Orange County Board of Supervisors cut nearly $300,000 from Planned Parenthood's budget.

Thanks to James O'Keefe and Lila Rose, desperate teenagers who don't lie will get fucked by the government too.

Mr. O'Keefe didn't stop there. He decided he'd show the world that some Planned Parenthood staffers are bigots. He phoned various offices claiming he wanted to donate money, but he specified that the money had to be used to fund abortions for poor minority women. He found exactly two Planned Parenthood staffers in Oklahoma and New Mexico who agreed to his terms.

Seconds later the press releases came screaming out: PLANNED PARENTHOOD WANTS MONEY TO KILL BLACK BABIES! "Racist Donations Welcome We Abort Black Babies!" "Planned Parenthood has no shame in accepting donations to purposely abort minority populations," wrote the ever-present Ms. Rose.

Now, I've got a few problems with this stunt. First, it's a little hypocritical using cries of bigotry to reduce aid to minorities. These are poor women who want to terminate pregnancies, so it's a bit of a stretch trying to spin it into racial genocide. Planned Parenthood isn't exactly going to hang out on the sidewalk going "Psst!" to black teens with baby bumps.

Second, Oklahoma and New Mexico? Exactly how many offices did Mr. O'Keefe have to phone to find two people who didn't hang up on him? Apparently, it doesn't matter. In Idiot Republican-world, one bad apple should cut the funding to the entire tree.

In an incident that's missing from his Wikipedia page, Mr. O'Keefe applied for a license to marry a male friend in Massachusetts. We're not gay, they both repeatedly told the clerk. We have girlfriends! We're straight! We just want the health benefits.

Get the pattern? Abuse a system that helps people in order to shut it down. Sadly, this stunt went nowhere. Maybe because if marriage license clerks were also the Love Police, Republican senators would be denied trophy wives.

And now Mr. O'Keefe is in trouble for pretending to be a telephone repairman at Senator Mary Landrieu's office. What were he and his friends are doing? They claim it was harmless. They claim it was a prank. Her right-wing constituents didn't like her left-wing attitudes, so when they couldn't get through to her, they wanted to see if something was wrong with her phone.

Yup. That's right. And, you know, if President Obama doesn't answer your email, that gives you the right to break into the White House.

In Mr. O'Keefe, we realize the Republican party has hit new lows. Clearly their idiocy is unbounded, and they're hoping the rest of the world is as stupid as they are. To them, "Gotcha!" journalism is when a reporter asks what newspapers you read, not when you break into a politician's office to tap telephones. They have no clue how to fix the system, so they'll just tear things down.

Meet James O'Keefe, their wrecking ball.

When gays are allowed to adopt, you know he'll be there. "I am an avowed homosexual who would like to take fourteen white babies," he'll write on his application. "I hope it's okay if I continually hit them with sticks."

When Don't Ask, Don't Tell is finally repealed, you know he's going to enlist in the Army so he can play grab-ass in the shower. "That darned liberal Congress approved it!" he'll cry, camera hidden in his feathered turban. "Now show me that sweet tushie, you hot hunk of man-meat!"

1 comment:

Yet Another Steve said...

What a smarmy little weasel O'Keefe is. However, be assured that his karma will catch up with him in a very public way. It's only a matter of time. The Landrieu breakin is only the intro to that symphony.

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