Dear Grammar Police,

Thank you for being one of the many informing me of my heinous grammatical error. Just for future note, when I say things like "Methinks thou doth protesteth too much," odds are I'll have made ten or twelve mistakes, because I'll have just randomly made up most of the words.

Unfortunately, I know very little about ancient, dead languages, and I do not plan to learn more. My head is already full of languages that sexy, living men speak -- like un peu de français, poco de español -- so unfortunately I may never be able to decipher the words that a priest might yell when he came.

Your obedient servant,
RomanHans