Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tuesday News Round-Up

With so many young people struggling with obesity, authors have started hiding messages about weight control into children's books.

I guess this explains why at Barnes & Noble the other day I saw a copy of Green Eggbeaters and Turkey Ham.

On Monday President-elect Barack Obama urged President Bush to support emergency aid for the struggling auto industry. Bush tentatively agreed on the condition Congressional Democrats would support aid to Colombia.

Bush said the U. S. owes Colombia a huge debt of gratitude, because no other record club will send you twelve CDs for a dollar.

Jersey City councilman Steven Lipski was arrested for urinating on a crowd of concertgoers from the balcony of a Washington D.C. nightclub.

Lipski was at a performance by a Grateful Dead tribute band when one of the club's employees spotted him relieving himself onto the crowd below.

His defense is a little weak. He says the Dead is a jam band, so he had every right to whip out his muffin.

A British vicar was hospitalized with a potato stuck up his bottom.

The vicar, who was not named, had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the recalcitrant vegetable.

He's claiming it was something of a miracle, because it was french fries when it went up there.

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