Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I voted Democratic yesterday, against my better judgment. I really liked what McCain stood for, and loved his risky, courageous pick of that maverick Sarah Palin. I wasn't sure about that come-out-of-nowhere Obama, with all his smooth intelligence and eloquence. I finally made my decision behind the curtains in the voting booth, and I'm confident I voted correctly. Because basically what it came down to was, I found one enormous, fatal flaw in McCain's political platform:

What if unborn baby terrorists attacked America?

I mean, think about it for a second. Really, it's the question that Anderson Cooper and Katie Couric and all those other so-called "journalists" should have been asking months ago, rather than "How many houses does McCain have?" or "Is Obama dreamy or what?" I didn't hear a single TV pundit address it. But the scary truth is, McCain couldn't do anything! He'd have had to stand idly by while our entire country was destroyed! Even after eight years of Bush I still find that unacceptable.

Ordinarily I support an infant's right to life, but since 9/11 these are different times. We need to prepare for every eventuality. We need to ask ourselves, which candidate would be better prepared if rampaging pre-birth infants loaded Ford Fiestas with chemical fertilizer and parked them in front of the local Christmas Tree Store? The answer is clear: Obama. Surely not McCain. With his right to life stance, all McCain could do is offer them a sip of Enfamil and a soft burping pat on the back. They could have laced the elevators at Macy's with plastic explosives and all McCain could do is wrap them in a soft blanket and steer them over to the photo studio to snap pix for his Christmas card.

And so, hearing the news this morning, I applaud America. Obama is surely the right man for the job. He supports a woman's right to choose, and while normally that means absolutely nothing to me, in this case it means he alone would stand up to fetal thugs, and he wouldn't hesitate to fling some murderous unborn baby terrorist's hand grenade right back at it and teach those adorable pink bastards what for.

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