Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I keep hearing all this talk about the immigration problem. Honestly, I don't get it. I must have watched McCain and Palin speak to huge crowds every day last month, and I didn't see more than one or two faces that weren't white.

From Sunday's New York Daily News:

Now that it's deer season, Troy Weldy, the director of ecological management at the Nature Conservancy in Albany, hunts at least once a week. "You can't get any more locally grown, free-range, hormone-free, pesticide-free food than game from your own backyard," he says.

See, when they said "Nature Conservancy," I didn't think they meant conserving it in Tupperware in the fridge

I know it's not politically correct, but I stand by our New York City policemen, no matter how many ridiculous claims criminals make about them. In the latest, 24-year-old Michael Mineo said that after he was arrested on a variety of charges three policemen held him down while a fourth sodomized him with his walkie-talkie. The police department immediately, unequivocally declared that this was a lie. There was no sexual assault, and they had two impartial eyewitnesses who'd swear that the arresting officers did nothing of the kind.

Now, it might have looked a little weird when the guy was hospitalized with internal injuries consistent with sexual assault. But he could have done that to himself, right? Or maybe it happened naturally. God knows I'm still suffering from that day eight years ago when I ate two Big Macs. Still, to placate the suspicious public, the police agreed to investigate. They confiscated the walkie-talkie and said they'd check it out.

Seventeen days later, I'll still stand by our boys in blue. Sure, the four officers involved were reassigned to desk duty yesterday, and we haven't heard another word about the walkie-talkie. But what does that prove? I mean, we all know it can easily take a couple weeks to decide if something's covered in shit or not.

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