What If Sarah Palin Wrote The Gettysburg Address?

Four score and a buncha years ago our fathers brang forth to this continent a whole new nation, born outta liberty, and dedicated to the preposition that everybody's equal. Now we are engaged to be married in a huge civil war, which is basically a buncha guys fighting another buncha guys, testing whether --

Gosh, this is long. I think it's saying if we don't shrink the government we're all sunk. Look, here's my son Trig. Everybody watch Bristol on Dancing With the Stars!