I'm a die-hard atheist who's not particularly fond of religious people, but there's one area where I have to concede they're right. They say that even though our public schools can't teach about Jesus as a religious figure, because of the separation between church and state, they should still be able to teach about him as a historical one.

Put that way, it's hard to disagree. While Jesus' divinity is a matter of some controversy, his existence is not, and he figures prominently in the historical records of many countries.

Similarly, leprechauns. Whether they're called leprechauns, cluricauns, or goblins, they appear in the literature of many disparate lands, so they too should be considered an essential part of a classical education.

In fact, it's easy to write up a sample curriculum that could cover all the basics:

Week 1: Paul Bunyan and his ox Babe
Week 2: Minotaurs and unicorns
Week 3: Elves, fairies, sprites
Week 4: Yetis and snowmen
Week 5: Anthropomorphic trains
Week 6: The Chupacabra
Week 7: Jesus, Mary, Joseph
Week 8: Ronald McDonald, Wendy, Jack

I hope religious people accept this idea in the spirit it's intended: as a bridge between two often-conflicting groups. And I hope one day soon our schools will teach all the children -- believing and non-believing -- this essential information, maybe instead of math. Because on December 24, which is more important: how to multiply fractions, or exactly what kind of cookies Santa likes?