Well, looks like I have to eat my words. Adam Lambert was on The Early Show this morning, and apparently ABC showed remarkable wisdom and foresight in banning him. The New York Times has already filed a news bulletin about this, so I'll let them describe the unbelievable scene:
This morn the detestable and abominable Vice of Buggery claimed this fair screed after he witnesseth a performance by Mr. Adam Lambert. The crooner appear'd possessed as if by the devil himself, as he stalked the stage with a countenance midway between man and beast, holding the vile mechanisms of electrified musicianship between his fingers like a Scottish tart. He belched and roared with the fervor of Satan himself, until, squealing like a banshee, he had performed two songs from his debut album, For Your Entertainment. Then he signed autographs for the audience.

Everyone who witnessed this acursed spectacle was instantly debauched, with the softest Kid turned into uncouth leather. Now malefactors of all description doth congregate in our cities, and buggery is spreading like wildfire from blackguard to jackanape. All hope for this fledgling civilisation is lost. Alas, even this poor reporter, dear reader, is without a blush in saying he has been sucked up into base delights, and is sodomizing a sharp-tongued goat as he writes.

More prattle yon morrow from scribe Alex Kuczynski.